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Good psychotherapy, bad psychotherapy: More on therapy that isn’t great.
Bad psychotherapy feels just like your worst nightmare. Good psychotherapy feels new. The difference between the two often comes down to your therapist’s work with transference. What’s transference? It’s a tissue of assumptions, no-fly zones, deepest wishes and...
The difference between anger and rage
At first glance, anger and rage might appear the same, with rage being a bit louder and longer than anger. The inner experience of these states or emotions is entirely different. Anger Sharpens ability to think Connects with others Defines the self Rage Thinking...
Anger and rage: A search for solutions
Here are some ways to begin the search for answers if you are experiencing overwhelming feelings of anger and rage. Blood work. If you haven’t had a physical in a while, make an appointment. Make sure that your doctor knows that you are feeling irritable. There are...
Find out what goes on at day camp: Have a real conversation
Every Mom wants her child to feel loved and special. You want your children to know how important they are to you. Here’s a framework for how to listen to your children to show you care. • Be specific. “How was your day?” is the obvious question, but you are likely to...
Show your friends you care by listening
Everyone wants to be a better friend. You want the people in your life to feel cared for. You want them to know that they are important to you. Here’s a framework for how to listen in to a friend to show you care. Shut up. People love to talk about themselves. ...
Atypical Depression
Depression can be a step up from where you are. Are you numb? You take the online depression quiz, and none of it feels true. In fact, you don’t feel much of anything. Are you on autopilot? The work gets done, the kids are fed and clothed. Homework happens and the...
Feel better now–self care for depression
Depression got you in its teeth? Fight back with novelty and gentle self-care. Listen to someone else’s Ipod or a radio station. Choose music you don’t know. It’s a way to go somewhere new without leaving the room. Take a cold shower. It will distract your nervous...
Finding a therapist, the last four tips you’ll ever need
Test run Buy a session and see how you feel. There are a lot of people doing psychotherapy in New York City. Would you want this person in the car on a trip cross country? Do you feel pulled toward aliveness? Do you have hope? Fit is the interplay of inner...
Postcards from the Neuroscience Reading Room
The play space for toddlers at Washington Square Park is a slow, sweet spot. Babies learn to walk there and time stretches out like a summer afternoon. It’s also a good place to do impromptu baby watching. A truck backfires and the babies react. Some older toddlers...
Another Postcard from the Neuroscience Reading Room
Researchers out of University of California in San Diego have a new idea about depression. It makes sense to me and I want to share a paraphrase of their article with you. Karen Wager-Smith and Athina Markou hypothesize that stressful life events cause depressive...
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The best way to find out if we can work together is to have a session. I will do what I always do, and you will see if how I work works for you. If we decide that we are fit and continue to schedule sessions, I will bill you for the session. If we are not a good fit, I don’t charge.
Check out my blog for more on what I think and how I work with rage and panic. It matters who you choose. It matters how that person works. It matters what models of the mind they are considering as you speak. It matters how much work they’ve done on themselves and what their lives have thrown at them.
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